Seen
by Vegetableswillhavetheirrevenge
Summary: Arthur saw it all. At least, he thought he did. ONESHOT- takes place during s.2 ep.9


**So this just popped in to my head the other day, and it wouldn't go away. It was interfering with my plans for other stories, so I decided to write it quickly before it drove me mad (or, at least, more mad than I already am). Unfortunately, I'm not very good at deciding what genre to give things, so I've decided to leave that blank for now. **

**Anyway, I hope you like it. Reviews are, of course, more than welcome, but don't feel pressured to do so.**

**In case you can't figure it out (even though it's fairly obvious), this begins towards the end of s.2 ep.9, 'The Lady of the Lake'.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

* * *

Arthur saw it all. Of course he did- he wasn't blind. After the gargoyle's head had fallen, he rolled out of the way, but was easily on his feet by the time the beast began to fly away. Ordinarily, he would have ordered his men after it, but the beast was seriously wounded- there was no doubt in any of their minds that it would die before the night was through. It was then, as the others had their eyes fixed on the departing creature, that Arthur's gaze fell upon Merlin.

Merlin. Running after the beast.

With a mumbled "That _idiot_", he quickly ordered his men back to their regular duties, and followed after Merlin alone. _Honestly_, he reasoned, _doesn't that idiot have an ounce on common sense? _After all, there was no need to go after the creature. It was going to die soon anyway. Besides, they had no way of knowing where it had been hiding over the course of the past few days.

Or did they?

As strange as it sounded, Merlin seemed to know exactly where he was going. Without even attempting to track the giant cat's flight patterns, he unhesitatingly headed towards the entrance to the tunnels which lay beneath the city, hastily lighting a torch as he entered them. Arthur quietened his footsteps, subconsciously slipping into the same stance he used when hunting. Like this, he could even follow some of his best Knights undetected. He knew he could- it was one of the games he used to play in order to train himself. Not that it was really necessary to be quite so quiet here- Merlin didn't even look back once.

As Merlin slowed so much that he was barely moving, Arthur drew to a halt. A faint growling seemed to be coming from the arch his manservant was about to pass through. The beast. But how did Merlin know where to go?

His thoughts flicked back to his memories of the past few days. Merlin's strange behaviour. The discovery that the dark-haired young man had been stealing the Prince's food. It couldn't be true. But it was. Halig had been right after all- it _was_ Merlin who had been keeping the Druid girl safe. Arthur's mind whirled at the thought. How stupid had that idiot been? Protecting a girl who could transform and kill so easily at will? And then- _I knew I wasn't fat_.

"You're alright." The words jolted Arthur from his thoughts, and he instead watched as Merlin progressed through the archway, arm extended forward as though he was trying to calm the beast for some reason. Arthur was about to yell out, to drag Merlin back and reprimand him for being such a reckless idiot, when the young manservant continued.

"You're safe now."

Safe? That creature? Surely it was the other way around? It was the people of Camelot who were safe now- not that thing!

But the growling stopped, and there were a few moments of near silence before staggered sounds indicated that the creature was limping away. Arthur could well imagine what had happened in those few seconds- Merlin had stroked it. Stroked the creature that had so viciously killed for the past few nights. Just like Halig had been killed.

But before the Prince had time to dwell on such thoughts, Merlin was moving. And Arthur had to follow.

Deeper and deeper in to the tunnels they went, until up ahead Arthur could hear the creature's moans of pain turn into muffled sobs. Peeking around the next corner, he watched as Merlin laid down the torch he had been carrying, shrugged off his jacket, and laid it down over the form of the druid girl, of whom Arthur could only see the feet.

And then, in amongst the sobs, came a voice. A girl's voice.

"You must hate me."

"No."

"I'm a monster."

What did this mean? Had Merlin not known? Gaius had only discovered what the girl was earlier that day- perhaps she had not told Merlin. Perhaps Merlin had been tricked into looking after her? Maybe she had never planned to let him know- had simply manipulated him, never caring about his feelings as long as she was protected? After all, she was a druid, and if Arthur's recent exploits had told him anything, it was that those with magic could never be trusted.

But no. That hope was quickly quashed with her next words.

"I tried to tell you."

And then, in amongst her pained sobs, and despite Merlin's attempts at stopping her from speaking, the girl explained how she came to be like she was. About the man who she had unwittingly killed, and about the sorceress who had cursed her for it. And Arthur's mind simply went still from shock. Because, from what he was hearing, the girl had had no choice in her actions. She had been but a victim, caught up in a twisted web, doomed to become that murdering creature just because she had protected herself from an attacker. How was that right? How was that fair?

"I'm gonna make you better Freya."

The words were a shock. Because it was painfully clear to Arthur (and, judging by the reply Marlin was given, even to the girl) that she had no hope of surviving this. But more than Merlin's naïve hope, what hit Arthur hardest was the desperation hidden behind the young manservant's words. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears. But he had only known the girl for a few days- Arthur would have been able to understand it if there had simply been the sound of regret, but Merlin sounded… like he was breaking. There was a tone to the young man's voice which Arthur had only ever heard when people spoke to someone they truly cared about.

He considered this as Merlin dressed the girl in the self-same dress Arthur had seen him carrying round the castle. He had teased the boy about his 'habits', not really believing in his own words, but never would he have suspected that Merlin had taken the dress in order to give it to this girl.

Startled, he hastily backed in to a deep alcove as Merlin lifted the girl in his arms, belying a strength the boy rarely showed. He followed as Merlin snuck easily from the city (_honestly- what were the guards up to?_) and through the forest, walking through the night until he reached a lake. There were mountains in the distance, and even with the pouring rain the view could only be described, for want of a better word, as magical.

It was only now that Merlin truly broke down. The boy collapsed to his knees, laying the girl down and holding her in his arms. Moving to a better vantage point, where he could see Merlin's face, Arthur finally realised. One look at the reddened, tear-filled eyes was all Arthur needed for the niggling feeling he had had since hearing the brokenness in his manservant's voice earlier to come barging to the front of his mind. Love. Merlin loved this girl. It was painfully obvious.

And Arthur had killed her.

The girl, Freya, turned her face towards the lake and smiled weakly. "You remembered." Remembered what? Arthur had no idea- it was obviously something private to the two of them.

And Merlin's eyes were fixed on her now, the boy seemingly unable to look away from his dying love. "Of course." He paused, struggling to speak, evidently trying to force himself to find the right words. "I am so sorry for what that sorcerer did to you." Not 'for what _Arthur _did to you', but _the sorcerer_. Arthur's heart leapt to his throat, and he almost felt tears prickling at his own eyes. Even now, even with the girl he loved dying in his arms, and even with the overwhelming guilt that Arthur himself was feeling, not once had Merlin given any indication that he blamed the Prince for what happened.

"Merlin you have nothing to be sorry for."

"There must be something I can do, some way to save you." Merlin was sounding even more desperate now. Arthur couldn't blame him- it was obvious that the girl was entering her final moments. He could only hope that she would be able to say something to ease Merlin's pain before she passed.

And the girl didn't disappoint. "You've already saved me." A faint smile. "You made me feel loved."

It was at that moment, as Merlin's grief finally began to break out, as his face contorted with emotions Arthur could only imagine, that the Prince decided to leave. But even as he was about to turn away, unable to bear seeing any more, he was unable to tune out his friend's heartbroken "I don't want you to go", or the girl's promise that she would one day repay what Merlin had done for her. He couldn't turn his eyes away as Freya breathed her last breaths, or as Merlin collapsed into tears, cradling her prone form in his arms. Instead, he stayed and watched, each moment engraving itself into his heart.

It wasn't until Merlin had begun readying one of the boats kept by each lake in the kingdom that Arthur finally managed to back away. He had seen enough. He couldn't stay and watch such a private moment as his friend's final goodbye.

Staggering back through the forest and in to the city, the only thing in Arthur's mind was '_this is all my fault'._ Not once had he considered the feelings of the girl. As soon as she had been deemed a threat, he had treated her just as he would any beast. It had never even crossed his mind that the girl may not have wanted any of what had occurred, even when he had heard her screams as she transformed. But Merlin had risked his life to get to know the girl behind the magic. And he had fallen in love with what he had found. But now, because of Arthur, that love had been ripped away in one of the most brutal ways imaginable.

* * *

By the time Arthur reached the castle, it was the time most people awakened. Forcing himself to hide his inner turmoil, he had to stand before his father with what he hoped could pass for a pleased smile on his face, listening as the king and fellow knights congratulated him on his victory against the 'vicious creature which had threatened their kingdom.' And through it all, he couldn't keep the image of the girl's dying face from his mind. She wasn't a creature. She had been a living, breathing girl with emotions just as strong as any other. Had it not been for a single unfortunate incident, she might have been able to live a perfectly normal life. To have fallen in love normally. To still be alive. None of this had been her fault.

And now Merlin would be the one to suffer for it.

Maybe, as he had thought once before, not all magic was bad. Maybe it depended on the person. That girl had certainly never wanted to hurt anyone, and she was a druid. Merlin had seen enough in her to love her, and he had proved on several occasions to be a good judge of what was in a person's heart. Maybe, all this time, Arthur had been wrong.

* * *

He passed the rest of the day with a calm mask plastered on his face, all the while wondering whether or not Merlin had returned yet. Finally, upon returning to his chambers for what felt like the hundredth time that day, he found Merlin sitting on the floor, polishing the Prince's boots.

"Ah, Merlin." Tossing the arm brace he had been carrying to one side, he turned to shut the door, taking that moment to calm the maelstrom of emotions which had risen in his chest. This was his only opportunity to try and show Merlin, without revealing anything that he knew, that Arthur cared about him. He wasn't going to force Merlin to speak- that would hopefully come naturally in it's own time. When Merlin felt comfortable talking about it, he would. And so Arthur had to behave as close to normal as he could, and try to find another way to cheer Merlin up, even if only slightly.

He started tugging off his gloves. "I've been looking for you."

"Yeah, right, um.. You're gonna ask me to… polish your armour, and to…er… wash your clothes, and clean your room."

Hearing the hurt still present in his friend's voice, Arthur decided to settle himself down next to the young servant boy- harbouring a slight hope that, maybe if they were on the same level, Merlin would feel he could open up a little? Trying his best to sound as though he were oblivious to the true cause of the boy's pain, all Arthur could come up with to say was "something's been upsetting you, hasn't it?"

A pause, followed by a brief reply.

"Maybe."

So now Arthur had to think fast. If he were unaware of what had occurred, he would, quite rightly, assume that it was something he himself had done which had upset Merlin. But, unable to say anything outside of the norm, Arthur had to settle on one of the most recent events in their lives.

"Was it when I threw water over you?"

A smile, and a brief laugh, as though Merlin couldn't believe the Prince to be quite so stupid as to think he would be so upset over something so trivial. "It wasn't very nice."

And Arthur, thinking once again about his attitude towards the girl people would forever view as nothing more than a vicious, bloodthirsty beast, could only answer with one thing. "It was a bit unfair." Aware that he might be sounding too different from his normal self, he had to finish up with something which sounded more… arrogant. And this time he could think of the perfect thing.

"Like when you called me fat."

And for the first time Merlin finally gave an expression close to one he would normally wear during their various sessions of banter.

"Why was that unfair?"

"Because I am not f-" Seeing the small smile on his friend's face, Arthur could feel his emotions beginning to rise once again. To cover this up, he did the only thing he could. Grabbing Merlin's head with one arm, he quickly used the other to knuckle the boy's hair. "Still think I need to get in shape?"

"Ah, no!" Came to protesting reply. "No no no no." At last, a small amount of laughter could be heard in Merlin's voice, and Arthur released him. It had worked. Even if only a little, Merlin had been distracted from his haunted thoughts. Surely, with this reminder that there were other things in life worth living for, the young man would be alright.

Seeing the smile on his friend's face, Arthur grinned. "That's better."

"Thanks," came the disbelieving reply.

So now, all that was left was to try and make it seem like he was still the oblivious prat Merlin obviously believed him to be. "You were right though- you need to polish my armour, wash my clothes, and clean my room." One final pat on the shoulder, and Arthur could finally leave.

He stood for a moment outside of the room, breathing deeply. That had been a hundred times harder than he could possibly imagine. Now all that was left was to wait for the day when Merlin would be able to speak of what had occurred. Because Arthur had no doubt- there was probably a lot more to his servant than he had ever dreamed. And one day, he would learn it all.


End file.
